The start of a new school year brings equal parts excitement and stress for families. For parents who are recently separated or adjusting to a new custody order, the transition to a new school year can be even more complicated. These complications range from figuring out school drop-offs to parent-teacher conferences – everyday routines that now involve coordination across two households.
As a Maryland family law attorney, I’ve seen how back-to-school season can become a flashpoint for conflict. The good news is that with preparation and clear communication, families can reduce stress and keep the focus where it belongs, the best interests of the child.
The Legal Foundation: Custody and Parenting Plans in Maryland
In Maryland, custody has two key parts:
- Legal Custody: which is the decision-making authority concerning the child over big issues like school enrollment, IEPs, and extracurriculars.
- Physical Custody: which is where the child lives.
The legal custody and physical custody of a child are often set forth in a custody agreement or a custody order. In these instances, it is critical to follow your agreement or custody order exactly as written. A parent who makes unilateral decisions, like changing schools or signing forms without authority, risks legal consequences relative to their agreement or custody order. However, for parents without a custody agreement or custody order, a legal foundation that differs from the default status as parents has not yet been established, which means that both parents are generally entitled to be involved. It is important to understand where your situation falls on the spectrum of legal foundations to navigate this back-to-school season.
Practical Challenges at the Start of the School Year
Separated parents face unique logistical and communication hurdles when school begins. Some common issues include:
- School Communication – Such as communicating with the school administration or the child’s teacher. Ensuring both parents are listed as emergency contacts, have access to online portals, and receive notices about conferences and events.
- Logistics – Such as coordinating transportation, clarifying who can pick up the child (grandparents, caregivers, or new partners), and managing after-school activities.
- Ensuring Consistency for the Child – Such as establishing routines for homework, bedtime, and activities and attempting to apply those routines across households. This also includes ensuring that the child has appropriate access to supplies, clothes, and devices, which should be available in both homes to avoid conflict.
Common Disputes and How to Avoid Them
Two of the most common disputes at this time of year are:
- Decision-Making Conflicts – Such as school choice disputes, including where one parent prefers public school and the other prefers private school.
- Scheduling Conflicts – Such as scheduling extracurricular activities, which have a tendency to overlap with custodial time.
While there is no cure-all to resolving these types of disputes, a common-sense approach is generally the preferred path. In most instances, a resolution to disputes starts with communication. Communicating a concern to the other parent where the issue is delineated and a resolution is proposed is often the best first course of action. Similarly, responding to a communication that outlines a dispute and doing so in a timely fashion is essential. Too often, disputes develop out of procrastination. When disputes arise in cases, keeping in mind the following tips can help you defuse a situation quickly and effectively:
- Use co-parenting apps to manage scheduling and communication.
- Keep all discussions focused on the child.
- Support the child’s needs. Transitions can be stressful for kids and no time is that more apparent than back-to-school. This is heightened during the time of separation. Understanding these stressors while relying on support systems in place.
- Keep records. Document schedules, communications, and expenses. Clear records can prevent disputes and protect you if issues arise.
- If conflicts escalate, consider contacting an appropriate professional for advice prior to making your next move. Oftentimes, your agreement or custody order may require the involvement of a parent coordinator or may require that you submit your dispute to a qualified mediator before escalating the issue to court. Understanding these requirements is critical.
When Legal Help Is Needed
Unfortunately, some disputes can’t be resolved without legal action. You may need to turn to the court for assistance when:
- The custody order no longer works with the child’s school schedule, whether that is due to the exchange times, commute needs, extracurricular requirements, or otherwise.
- A parent makes unilateral decisions related to the child, such as enrolling the child in a different school.
- Co-parenting devolves to an ineffective point whereby the child is disadvantaged.
Often, allowing circumstances that are disadvantaging your child to continue is not the best course of action. When you believe you have reached this point, you should consider speaking with an experienced Maryland family law attorney who can help with establishing a custody agreement, or help you with the enforcement, modification, or clarification of an existing custody agreement or custody order.
Final Thoughts
Back-to-school season is always a transition, but for separated families, it requires extra care. By following your custody order, communicating effectively, and prioritizing your child’s needs, you can reduce conflict and provide stability during this important time. If you’re facing challenges related to custody and school issues, I invite you to reach out for a consultation. Together, we can work toward solutions that keep your child’s well-being front and center.
