Author: JGL Law

When someone is considering divorce, waiting can feel like the safer choice. Maybe things will get better. Maybe the timing will be easier. Maybe staying together will protect the kids, the finances, or the family home. But delaying the decision can come with real consequences.

In this episode of JGL LAW FOR YOU, David Bulitt sits down with family law attorney Christopher Castellano to discuss the often-overlooked emotional, financial, and strategic costs of putting off divorce. From rising expenses and changing home values to disappearing financial records, hidden accounts, and the toll of living in ongoing uncertainty, they discuss why “waiting it out” may not always protect you the way you hope.

This is part one of an important conversation for anyone who is thinking about separation or divorce. The takeaway: you do not have to be ready to file for divorce to get informed. Sometimes, the most important first step is simply understanding your options.

In a May 15, 2026, article published by Kiplinger, Christopher Castellano discusses the hidden financial dangers that can quietly erode retirement security when later-in-life divorces – commonly known as “gray divorces” – are rushed or poorly structured.

The real financial damage in gray divorces is rarely visible at the surface level, Chris explained. It lives in the technical details that receive too little attention: Social Security rules that turn on timing, pension elections that seem routine until benefits begin, and retirement account transfers that were agreed to in settlement but never properly executed. The article also highlights how seemingly equal settlements on paper can produce very different long-term financial outcomes depending on tax treatment, survivor benefits, and retirement income structure.

Unlike divorces earlier in life, gray divorces leave little room for error. There is simply less time to recover from a poor settlement structure, a missed retirement transfer, or a pension decision that cannot be undone. Chris emphasizes that small procedural mistakes in this context do not stay small – they compound quietly into lasting losses. He also notes that timing can be critical, particularly when couples are approaching the 10-year marriage threshold tied to certain Social Security benefits.

“In a gray divorce, discipline is not over-lawyering – it’s wealth protection,” Chris said.

Read the full article “I’m a Divorce Lawyer: A Rushed Gray Divorce Can Quietly Destroy Your Retirement — Slow Down and Focus on These Details.”

The Maryland Annotated Code sets forth three grounds for divorce: six-month separation, irreconcilable differences, and mutual consent. Each ground is fact and case specific and/or depends on whether the parties have reached a mutual agreement.

The Three Grounds for Divorce in Maryland

In Maryland, the courts now focus entirely on no-fault divorce, which eliminates the prior fault based grounds. The court must still assess whether the non-fault grounds apply to the facts of the case.

Ground 1: Six-Month Separation

A six-month separation requires that the parties live separate and apart for at least six months without interruption, including whether you continue to hold yourself out as married or have pursued a separation.

The court can determine that you are separated even if the parties remain in the same residence, depending on how the parties interact.

Courts may consider factors such as:

• Whether you maintain separate bedrooms
• How you maintain finances and bills
• Whether you hold yourselves out as a couple

This option is used when there is no agreement in place, but you do not want to delay filing for divorce.

Ground 2: Irreconcilable Differences

The term irreconcilable differences means the marriage has dissolved and there is no reasonable hope of reconciliation.

This ground does not require a waiting period. You can file for divorce without alleging a separation for any length of time.

This occurs when:

• Communication is non-existent
• You and your spouse do not agree on fundamental issues
• There is no hope for a reconciliation

Property issues will still have to be addressed as well as any support and custody issues. But, this eliminates having to prove fault.

Ground 3: Mutual Consent

Mutual consent expedites a final divorce when all of the issues are resolved and mutually agreed to.

In order to file for a divorce based on mutual consent, you must:

• Both “consent” to a divorce
• Have a signed, written agreement that resolves all pending issues
• All issues must be addressed including property, retirement and pension distribution, alimony, child support and custody matters

If you have a fully signed agreement, you can seek an expedited final divorce merits hearing as there are no contested issues for the court to decide.

Which Grounds Are Appropriate?

The grounds depend on the facts of your case, the length of the separation, and whether you and your spouse have entered into any resolutions.

We will review the facts of your case and determine whether:

• Irreconcilable differences and mutual consent can allow you to file without waiting to have a divorce merits hearing
• You have a fully executed agreement as mutual consent requires a full written agreement, while the other grounds do not
• You have lived separate and apart for six months, including whether it is in the same residence

We can assist in determining which of the aforementioned fits the facts of your case and which grounds will assist you in filing for divorce.

Do the Grounds for Divorce Affect Property, Support, or Custody?

In most cases, the grounds for divorce do not control how the court decides financial or custody issues; however, a fault basis for the dissolution of the marriage is a mandatory consideration for alimony and the court’s distribution of property.

Maryland courts focus on:

• An equitable (or “fair”) distribution of marital property
• Appropriate support based on each spouse’s situation
• The best interests of the child in custody matters and financial support for the children

What Is the Process of Filing for Divorce in Maryland

To file for divorce, the following occurs:

1. Filing a complaint for divorce
2. Serving your spouse with a summons and complaint
3. Seeking mediation or seeking to have contested hearings
4. Finalizing the divorce through a hearing or agreement

Cases based on mutual consent may expedite matters, whereas contested cases may take much longer as the court must schedule hearings.

For years, family law clients have brought lawyers screenshots, text messages, emails, voicemails, social media posts, doorbell camera footage, and more. In divorce, custody, protective order, and support cases, these forms of digital evidence can be powerful. It can show how parents communicate, whether court orders are being followed, whether money is being moved, or whether someone is being threatened or harassed.

But artificial intelligence has changed the way lawyers, judges, and clients need to think about this evidence.

The question is no longer simply: “what does this message say?” but rather, “can we prove this message is real?”

AI tools make it easier to create fake communications, alter real ones, manipulate audio, edit images, or present an incomplete digital record as though it tells the whole story. In family law cases, where emotions are high and credibility often matters, that risk is serious.

Evidence That Looks Real Enough Can Still Cause Harm

Fake or altered evidence does not have to be perfect to create problems. It only has to look convincing enough to cause confusion, force a response, increase legal fees, or influence an early court decision.

A party might produce a screenshot that appears to show the other parent making a threat. A spouse might present a text message that supposedly proves hidden money or dissipation of marital funds, or worse yet, produce an altered bank statement. A parent might even offer a short audio clip that appears to capture the other parent yelling at a child. Any of those materials could be real. They could also be edited, staged, generated, cropped, or taken out of context.

The danger is especially high in custody and protective order cases, where courts may be asked to make urgent decisions where the opportunity to obtain records custodian certificates is complicated, at best. If a digital exhibit appears serious, the accused party may have to respond quickly, sometimes before there has been a full opportunity to examine whether the evidence is authentic.

Maryland Courts Require Authentication

Maryland courts do not have to accept a screenshot simply because someone printed it. Digital evidence generally must be authenticated. This is not a new concept. That means the party offering the evidence must provide enough support to show that the item is what the party claims it is. That may be simple in some cases. A witness may be able to testify that they received the message, that the phone number belongs to the other party, and that the message remains on the original device owned by that party. In other cases, especially where the evidence is disputed or suspicious, more may be required, such as a records custodian certificate.

The key point is this: a screenshot is not automatically self-proving. The court may want to know where the evidence came from, how it was preserved, whether the original still exists, whether anything was edited, and whether the full context has been provided.

Why Family Law Cases Are Especially Vulnerable

Family law cases are particularly vulnerable to fake or altered digital evidence.

First, the evidence is often informal. Many cases rely on texts, phone photos, videos, social media, parenting apps, emails, and screenshots. Those materials are easy to preserve poorly and, in some cases, easy to manipulate.

Second, the parties know each other well. A spouse or co-parent may know the other person’s writing style, speech patterns, passwords, habits, family details, and emotional triggers. That knowledge can make fabricated evidence look more believable.

Third, many family law disputes involve urgent allegations. A parent may claim the other parent is unsafe. A spouse may allege threats, harassment, substance abuse, or financial misconduct. A protective order petition may rely heavily on electronic communications. Or, a custody emergency may be built around a short recording, screenshot, or video.

Fourth, family law cases often turn on credibility. This certainly means that if it is determined that a party presented fake evidence, that fact alone will likely make them look dishonest, threatening, or unsafe, meaning the damage will likely go beyond that single exhibit and affect how the court views the person’s overall judgment and reliability.

That is why digital evidence must be handled carefully from the beginning.

The Screenshot Problem

Screenshots are common in family law cases because they are easy to create and easy to share. But they have limits.

A screenshot is only a picture of information. It may not show the full conversation or provide necessary context. Similarly, screenshots of text messages notoriously fail to provide adequate identification of the speakers, dates, and other information critical to understanding, leaving it up to the ‘authenticating party’ to fill in the gaps. But what if the screenshot is manipulated or just completely fabricated?

Certainly, that does not render screenshots useless. They can be very helpful. But when the evidence matters, the original source matters too. A stronger presentation may include providing the original device, the full message thread, native exports, account records, metadata, surrounding communications, and testimony explaining how the evidence was received and preserved.

Therefore, the better question is not, “do we have a screenshot?”, rather, “can we prove where this came from, that it has not been changed, and that the court is seeing the full context?”

AI Audio and Video Raise Even Greater Concerns

A fake or altered text message can be damaging. A fake voice recording may be dangerously persuasive. But a fake video may prove disastrous.

Imagine a protective order case where someone offers a video clip that appears to place the other party at a certain contested location, or a divorce case where a spouse claims a recording proves an admission about hidden money, drug use, or an affair. Now, imagine if these video clips were edited using AI or entirely generated with an AI platform.

Because of this new reality, courts may increasingly need to consider not only what an audio or video file appears to show, but whether it is authentic, complete, and reliable.

How Clients Should Preserve Digital Evidence

The safest approach to resolve questions of authenticity before they arise is to preserve digital evidence in its most complete and original form, or what is referred to as in their “raw” form.

Do not rely only on screenshots if the original messages still exist. Do not delete the thread. Do not crop or edit the only copy. Do not add highlights, circles, arrows, commentary, or filters to the original. Do not repeatedly forward videos through apps that may reduce quality or remove metadata. Do not combine screenshots into collages if the original format matters. Instead, preserve the original and create separate working copies if needed.

Good preservation does two things: it helps prove that favorable evidence is real, and it protects against accusations that the evidence was altered.

Final Takeaway

AI has created a new risk in family law litigation. Evidence can now be manufactured or manipulated in ways that look familiar, personal, and convincing. That risk is especially serious in cases involving custody, protective orders, financial misconduct, abuse allegations, and parental fitness. Digital evidence still matters and in many cases, it matters a great deal. But it should be handled carefully.

The issue is no longer just what the screenshot, recording, image, or video appears to show. The issue is whether it is authentic, complete, properly preserved, and connected to the legal issue before the court.

For Maryland families, the practical lesson is simple: treat digital evidence like evidence from the beginning. Preserve the original, keep the context, avoid editing, and be careful what you send. Reading up on how to analyze meta-data of a file can be a very critical step in gaining an understanding of whether or not a piece of evidence is authentic. Last, before relying on digital evidence in court, be prepared to answer the question every judge is entitled to ask: how do I know this is real?

JGL is sponsoring the First Shift Justice Project’s annual fundraiser “Dance Like a Mother” on May 8, 2026. The nonprofit organization advocates for pregnant and caregiving workers, helping them understand and assert their workplace rights while working to prevent job loss.

JGL principal Erika Jacobsen White, a past chair of the First Shift Board of Directors and producer of “Dance Like a Mother,” noted, “First Shift’s fight for mothers and caregivers facing workplace discrimination is at the core of what JGL stands for. By helping mothers and caregivers get access to justice and keep their jobs, we all rise. I am deeply committed to this mission and grateful for JGL’s ongoing support and engagement on these issues.”

Child custody orders in Maryland can be modified when there has been a material change in circumstances that affects the child’s well-being or the practicality of the current arrangement. Courts do not revisit custody simply because one parent is unhappy with the outcome. The focus is on whether something meaningful has changed and whether modifying the order serves the child’s best interests.

What Counts as a Material Change in Circumstances?

A material change is a development that significantly affects the needs of the child or the ability of one or both parents to meet the needs of the child. Courts look for changes that are ongoing and impactful, not temporary or minor.

Common examples include:

• A parent relocating or planning to relocate
• Changes in a child’s educational, medical, or emotional needs
• A shift in a parent’s work schedule that affects availability
• Domestic violence between the parents or toward a child
• Concerns about a child’s safety or well-being
• A breakdown in communication that makes the current arrangement unworkable

The key question is whether the change alters the foundation of the original custody decision. If the answer is yes, the court may consider modifying the order.

How Do You Modify a Child Custody Order in Maryland?

Modifying a custody order involves more than filing paperwork. You must present a clear legal basis for the request and support it with evidence.

The process typically includes:

• Filing a motion to modify custody with the court
• Identifying and explaining the material change in circumstances
• At trial, providing documentation or testimony that supports your position
• Participating in hearings or mediation, depending on the case

The court evaluates whether the existing order should be adjusted in light of new facts. This means your argument needs to be focused and tied directly to what has changed since the entry of the last custody order.

Does Your Proposed Change Meet Maryland’s Best-Interest Factors?

Once a material change in circumstances is established, the court must evaluate your proposed custody arrangement under the 16 best interest factors set out in Maryland Family Law § 9-201. Judges are required to address each factor on the record or in a written opinion, which means every factor will come into play in your case.

The factors cover a wide range of considerations, including:

• The child’s physical and emotional security and protection from conflict and violence
• Stability and the foreseeable health and welfare of the child, including the continuity of key relationships and routines
• The child’s day-to-day needs, such as education, medical care, and social development
• Each parent’s ability to co-parent, communicate, and place the child’s needs above their own

No single factor controls the outcome. Courts weigh all 16 factors together based on the specific circumstances of your family.

Timing and Evidence Matter in Modification Cases

When and how you seek a modification can affect the outcome. Courts generally expect that a change is established and ongoing, not speculative.

For example:

• A planned relocation may justify filing before the move occurs
• A temporary job change may not be enough without evidence that it will continue
• Concerns about a child’s well-being require documentation, not just allegations

Evidence can include school records, medical reports, communication logs such as Our Family Wizard, or testimony. The stronger and more consistent the evidence, the more likely the court is to take the request seriously and act on the request.

Common Challenges Parents Face

Custody modification cases are often contested and several issues come up repeatedly.

Parents may disagree about:

• Whether a material change has actually occurred
• How the change affects the child
• What arrangement would better serve the child’s needs

Courts are also cautious about repeated modification requests. If a similar request has already been denied, a new filing must be based on new developments, not the same arguments presented earlier.

Another common issue is relying on informal changes. Parents may adjust schedules between themselves, but unless those changes are formalized, the original order remains enforceable.

How Courts View Stability vs. Change

Courts value consistency and stability, especially for children. Even when circumstances shift, judges are careful about making changes that could disrupt the child’s routine without a clear benefit to the child.

This means that modification is not automatic, even when a change exists. The court balances:

• The need to respond to new circumstances
• The importance of maintaining consistency and stability for the child

A well-prepared case should address both sides of that balance. Custody modifications require more than showing that there has been some change since the last order. You need to connect that change to the legal standard the court applies and present a clear, supported argument.

Erika Jacobsen White was recognized by the U.S. District Court for the District of Maryland as a recipient of the inaugural Catherine C. Blake Exceptional Service Award.

The award honors her contributions as a member of the Local Rules Subcommittee on Appendix B, where her work supported the Court’s ongoing efforts to refine and strengthen its procedures.

Erika received the award at the Court’s Biennial Bench-Bar Conference on April 24, 2026.

You get a certified notice in the mail with “SHOW CAUSE ORDER” from your probate court. Your name is listed with a court date and time to appear, and a few words that something is missing or wrong with how you are handling your loved one’s estate.

You call the probate court trying to find out what you did. You are scrambling around to find a form to fix the problem. Or worse, you have ten other things that need to be done in your life. Surely, this can wait.

Think again. That dreaded Show Cause Order will turn into a Show Cause Order for Contempt and Removal of Personal Representative.

Common Problems That Result in a Show Cause Order

Most times the probate court is issuing a Show Cause Order to get you as the executor or personal representative to do something or correct a filing. These are the most common mistakes:

• You forgot to file an Inventory listing the estate’s assets
• You forgot to file a semi-annual accounting
• You did not include proper documentation for your inventory or accounting
• Your calculations are wrong and need correction
• You did not include a certificate of service
• You did not sign the inventory or accounting

Most times, just correcting the error takes the Show Cause Order off the court’s docket. But, if you do not know what to correct or fix, that Show Cause Order can snowball into something bigger like a bench warrant or your removal as executor.

How to Get Back on Track

If you do not have legal representation, your best course of action is to hire an experienced estate attorney who is knowledgeable about the estate administration process and who can help you get your administration back on track.

When faced with a Show Cause Order, it’s important to go back to the estate file and review all the documents. Most times, the court or register will issue a notice in advance of what filings need to be completed. It’s important to note these filings and their respective deadlines.

You want the court to know that you are taking your job as executor seriously. Most courts look favorably at the following:

• Having an attorney enter the case on your behalf
• Showing up to any court hearing if you cannot ask for a postponement well before the hearing
• Requesting an extension of time for filing
• Filing amended inventories and accountings as soon as possible
• Filing supporting documents or missing certificates/schedules
• Setting up an appointment with the register’s audit department to review your filings to explain any defects
• Filing a petition for clarification of any complex matters such as an interpretation of a will, determination of value of assets, etc.

Most probate judges understand mistakes happen. Things can be corrected. Times can be extended. However, it’s important to be present, show-up and be accountable.

Risks of Show Cause Orders

A Show Cause Order, as scary as it sounds, is an opportunity to correct something usually in the estate administration process. What normally irritates judges is when you do not show up to the hearing or fail to complete the task that started the show cause hearing.

The most common result of not following through is removal as the personal representative, followed by the need for someone else to petition to become the successor personal representative at a higher bond premium, or for an attorney to be appointed by the court to perform the role.

Final Thoughts

Take the Show Cause Order seriously. Contact an experienced estate attorney to help you get through the hearing and make the corrections. Many lawyers can be retained for a limited purpose so you can budget the estate’s assets.

The alternative is that the court will remove you and appoint an attorney to do the job and get paid. However, getting your estate administration back on your terms sometimes requires hiring an attorney of your choosing rather than having the court appoint one on your behalf.

The Daily Record has selected Paul Riekhof to receive an inaugural Managing Partner Award.

The Managing Partners Awards honor managing partners and equivalent senior firm leaders in both the legal and financial sectors who demonstrate vision, integrity and measurable impact on their organizations and communities.

These leaders are recognized for their professional achievements, commitment to developing the next generation of talent and their meaningful contributions to their firms and the broader community. The honorees were selected by The Daily Record’s editorial team.

“The inaugural Managing Partners award recipients are outstanding leaders in law and finance. Their innovative thinking and dedication to their fields demonstrate their strong commitment to their organizations, communities and beyond,” said Suzanne Fischer-Huettner, managing director of BridgeTower Media/The Daily Record. “These accomplished professionals also provide invaluable guidance to the next generation of leaders through mentoring. We at The Daily Record are pleased to celebrate these stellar leaders in our community.”

Paul will be honored on June 9 at an awards celebration and featured in a special magazine insert in the June 10 issue of The Daily Record, which will also be available online.

National Highway Transportation Safety Administration – Put the Phone Away or Pay Campaign

The campaign reminds drivers of the deadly dangers and the legal consequences, including fines, of texting and other forms of messaging behind the wheel.

General

• Distracted driving comes in many forms, but texting and cell phone use while driving has become the most prevalent type of distracted driving.
• If you are expecting a text message or need to send one that can’t wait, pull over and park your car in a safe location before using your device.
• Designate your passenger as your “designated texter.” Allow them access to your phone to respond to calls or messages.
• Do not engage in social media scrolling or messaging while driving.
• Struggling to not text and drive? Activate your phone’s “Do Not Disturb” feature, or put your cell phone in the trunk, glove box, or back seat of your vehicle until you arrive at your destination.
• When you get behind the wheel, be an example to your family and friends by putting your phone away. Just because other people do it doesn’t mean texting and driving is “normal” behavior.
• If you see someone texting while driving, speak up. If your friends text while driving, tell them to stop.
• Listen to your passengers: If they catch you texting while driving and tell you to put your phone away, put it down.

Enforcement

• Law enforcement officers nationwide are working together to enforce texting and distracted-driving laws.
• Handheld phone use:
  • In 30 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, and the U.S. Virgin Islands, handheld phone use is prohibited while driving. This is a primary enforcement law, meaning an officer may cite a driver for using a handheld cellphone without any other traffic offense taking place.
• All cellphone use:
  • No state bans all cellphone use for all drivers, but 36 states and the District of Columbia ban all cellphone use by novice drivers, and 23 states and the District prohibit cellphone use by school bus drivers.
• Text messaging:
  • In 49 states, D.C., Puerto Rico, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, and the U.S. Virgin Islands, texting while driving is an illegal, ticketable offense. Drivers could pay a hefty fine and receive points on a driver’s license.
  • Remember, when you get behind the wheel, Put the Phone Away or Pay.

Get more information about the Put Your Phone Away or Pay campaign.

If you or someone you know has been involved in an accident, or death as a result of a distracted driver you can protect your legal rights. Experienced attorneys know how to get you fair compensation.

Get the facts. Get educated.

Operating Agreements are drafted when business owners are aligned on their mission and focused on growth. Fundamentals to any Operating Agreement include establishing capital contributions, ownership percentages, management structure, and profit sharing. Less attention is given when drafting the sections about disassociation, withdrawal, or termination of ownership interests.

Most business owners are choosing co-owners and investors who are committed, serious and focused on long-term business growth. Most capital contributions go towards setting up the business, such as licenses, permits, leases, equipment, staff, professional fees, etc. Most owners do not want to deal with co-owners who are planning an early exit, demanding their capital contribution back when the money has already been spent.

Breaking Down Exits

Business owners are not immune to the inevitabilities of life such as death, divorce, health deterioration, relocations, bankruptcy, etc. People change. Circumstances change. Operating Agreements are intended to streamline the procedures for these life changes; however, several fail to give structures to address these changes. Most Operating Agreements do the following:

• No voluntary withdrawals
• No procedures for forced buyouts
• Lack of value methodology for capital return
• No dispute resolution mechanisms in place

Furthermore, certain states limit the right to dissociate from an LLC or have statutory requirements not addressed in the Operating Agreement. States such as Texas or Wyoming prohibit Membership withdrawals, leaving the Operating Agreement or judicial action to resolve the issue.

Addressing Exits in the Operating Agreement

A well-drafted Operating Agreement should account for the following circumstances in light of the local state statutory requirements:

• Members choosing to leave the business early
• Irreconcilable dispute among business owners
• Death, incapacity, or divorce of a Member
• Members seeking to sell out their interest shares
• Bankruptcy or other financial insolvency issues of a Member
• Serious misconduct allegations of a Member that are detrimental to the LLC including incarceration of a Member

Each of these circumstances raises serious legal issues for the LLC that would be difficult to address with a one-size fits all general statement on member exits.

Establishing Business Valuations in the Operating Agreement

Conflicts often arise when business owners are trying to determine the actual value of their business ownership. Most Operating Agreements stick to a simple return of capital with no interest. This seems simple and straight-forward, provided that the LLC maintains the capital contributions as such. However, most businesses ebb and flow financially.

Some become significantly more profitable while others decline. Some common questions that can be resolved in the Operating Agreement are:

• Who determines the ownership value?
• What metrics are used to determine the ownership value?
• Are third-party appraisals required?
• How are disputes resolved?
• Who pays the costs for determining the value?

Without proper drafting and foresight, a Member withdrawal can be devastating to a business. Remaining business owners can lose time in negotiations or litigation and face unexpected fees over these matters.

Payment Terms Matter Just as Much as Price

Even when valuation is addressed, paying out the interest becomes problematic. Operating Agreements do not always address how these payouts will be funded. Issues of payout include:

• Whether payment is required in one lump sum or installments
• Whether interest incurs for installment plans
• Whether a security interest is granted in installment plans

Often these issues are addressed in negotiations; however, Operating Agreements or subsequent Buy-Sell Agreements can resolve these issues in advance.

Final Thoughts

Operating Agreements, with periodic review and amendments, can ensure that business owners are aligned with business owner exits. Clearly drafted provisions on owner exits can:

• Minimize disputes
• Preserve business continuity
• Protect relationships between business owners
• Provide a roadmap for difficult situations

Life changes are inevitable, but planning ahead with clearly drafted provisions on business owner exits can prevent financial strain on business owners and the LLC.

Divorce is rarely easy. It is an emotional rollercoaster, and when you add financial stress to the mix, things can get complicated fast. One of the most frustrating situations we see at our firm is when one spouse discovers that marital money, money that should have been saved for the family or split during the divorce, has been spent on someone else.

In the legal world, we call this “dissipation of marital assets.” If your spouse has been spending money on a paramour (an affair partner), you likely have a lot of questions. Is that money just gone? Can you get it back? How does the court handle this?

We believe that understanding your rights is the first step toward a fair outcome. In Maryland, the law has very specific rules about what counts as wasting money and how the court can fix the balance.

What exactly is dissipation?

At its simplest, dissipation happens when one spouse intentionally spends or uses up marital property for a purpose that has nothing to do with the marriage. This usually happens right around the time the marriage is breaking down or after the couple has already separated.

For it to count as dissipation in a Maryland court, the spending must meet a few criteria. It isn’t just about making a bad investment or buying a car you didn’t like. It is about moving money out of the “marital pot” so that the other spouse can’t get their fair share during the divorce.

When we talk about a paramour, the spending is almost always considered “non-family.” This includes things like:

• Paying for hotel rooms, flights or vacations for secret getaways
• Expensive dinners and drinks
• Gifts like jewelry, clothes, or electronics
• Paying for the other person’s rent or car loan

How do you prove your spouse wasted money?

In Maryland, the “burden of proof” is on you. This means if you are the one making the claim, you have to be the one to show the court the evidence. We believe that documentation is your best friend in these cases.

Does the court care about every single coffee or lunch?

Usually, no. Courts are looking for significant amounts of money or a clear pattern of spending that isn’t related to the family. To win a claim for dissipation, three elements typically must be established:

1. The money was spent on non-family items. If the money went to a girlfriend or boyfriend, this is usually easy to prove because that person is not part of the marital unit.
2. The spending was intentional. You have to show that your spouse spent the money on purpose to reduce the amount of property available to be split.
3. The timing matters. Most dissipation happens when the marriage is failing. If your spouse spent money on a hobby ten years ago when things were great, the court likely won’t count that. If they spent $10,000 on a diamond necklace for someone else two months before filing for divorce, that is a different story.

Once you show that the money was spent, the ball is in your spouse’s court. They have to explain to the judge why that spending was actually for a “family purpose.” If they can’t give a good explanation, the court can move forward with a remedy.

What is the ‘three-part test’ in Maryland?

Maryland courts use a specific framework to decide if dissipation occurred. We often walk our clients through this step-by-step so they know what to expect.

First, the court looks at whether the property was spent on something that didn’t benefit the family. Second, they look at whether it was done to reduce the funds available for the “equitable distribution” (the fair split) of assets. Finally, they look at the intent.

Unlike some other nearby jurisdictions, Maryland specifically requires “intent.” This means your spouse had to know what they were doing. They were intentionally wasting the money. This is why looking at bank statements and credit card bills is so important. We look for large withdrawals, transfers to accounts you don’t recognize, or charges at luxury stores for items you never saw.

What happens if the money is already gone?

This is the question we hear most often. “April, if they already spent the money at a casino or on a vacation with their new partner, how can I get it back?”

The answer is a “phantom asset.”

In Maryland, if a judge finds that your spouse dissipated assets, they treat that money as if it is still sitting in the bank account. For example, let’s say there is $100,000 left to split, but your spouse spent $20,000 on a paramour. The judge will do the math as if there is actually $120,000 to split.

When it comes time to divide the remaining property, the judge will give your spouse a smaller share to make up for the $20,000 they already “spent” on their affair. This is how the court levels the playing field. Even if the cash is physically gone, you still get your fair share of what should have been there.

Are there any exceptions?

Yes. Not every dollar spent during a separation is considered dissipation. People still have to live. We believe it is important to distinguish between “wasting money” and “living life.”

Common things that are NOT usually dissipation include:

• Reasonable living expenses: Paying rent, buying groceries, and keeping the lights on at a new apartment after moving out.
• Child expenses: Paying for the kids’ school, clothes, or sports.
• Legal fees: In many cases, using marital funds to pay for a divorce lawyer is considered a necessary expense, though this can sometimes be debated depending on the source of the funds.
• Ordinary business expenses: If your spouse runs a business and has normal costs, that isn’t dissipation.

However, if those “living expenses” become excessive, like renting a $10,000-a-month penthouse when you used to live in a modest home, the court might take a second look.

How do we start the process?

If you suspect your spouse is wasting money, the first step is usually “discovery.” This is a formal legal process where we ask for financial records. We can look at:

• Bank statements
• Credit card history
• Investment account activity
• Venmo, PayPal, or Zelle history

Sometimes, the evidence is hidden in plain sight. A “business trip” that includes a charge for two people at a romantic resort is a major red flag. A large cash withdrawal right before a weekend away is another.

We believe that the earlier you look into these things, the better. If you wait until the very end of your divorce to bring up dissipation, it can be harder to track down the records and prove the intent.

Why a friendly, strategic approach works best

Dealing with an affair is emotional. It is easy to want to “punish” the other person in court. However, Maryland is an equitable distribution state, not a “punishment” state. The court isn’t there to judge your spouse’s morals, but they are there to protect your financial interests.

Our goal is to stay focused on the numbers. We want to make sure you walk away from your marriage with the resources you need to start your next chapter. Whether that means keeping the house or getting a larger share of the retirement accounts to balance out the money your spouse spent, we are here to help you navigate that.

If you are worried about your financial future or think your spouse is hiding or wasting assets, let’s talk.